“Woof!: A Gay Man’s Guide to Dogs”–woof! woof!

DePrisco, Adam. “Woof!: A Gay Man’s Guide to Dogs”, Bow Tie, 2007.

Woof! Woof!

Amos Lassen

“Woof!” is one of the most delightful books I have seen in a long time. It is a tongue-in-cheek guide to choosing a dog, raising him, walking him, etc.—in fact it is everything you need to know about dogs (as a gay man). It defines about 20 breeds of gay men and 20 breeds of dogs as well. It also has a lot of advice on choosing, adopting, naming and caring for our four legged friends.

You will laugh all the way through as you discover the facts—from purchasing and selecting the gay-perfect dog. The book also teaches you how to train your dog to become out and proud. Sounds ridiculous, does it not? It is not ridiculous however, it is pure fun. The book asks us to become active and devoted dog owners and to share our lives with the ideal companion—a dog. Additionally we should include our dogs in all of our activities—vacations, pride festivals, dog shows and other gay outings.

Andrew DePrisco knows dogs and he knows gay men. In his book he brings the two together and gives us advice on how to find a canine partner. His text is beautifully accompanied by illustrations by Jason O’Malley and they are amazing. All 28 breeds of dogs are considered for all 28 breeds of gay men—from the drag queen to the cowboy (I have a Jack Russell and according to the book I should be a cowboy ad not a college professor) to hairdresser to Homothug and so on. We learn which dogs are “suitable” and have potential for gay men. The All American boy should have a specific dog, the Fashionista, another and the Yenta, another. Concentrating on pure breeds, DePrisco plays matchmaker between man and dog.

Some of the topics considered are how to determine the temperament of your gay breed, the secret sex lives of dogs, choosing a proper gay name for your dog, finding the right puppy finishing school and  hosting a lucrative puppy shower. DePrisco tells us to “find a dog to share your life with: love him, train him, and use him as a decoy whenever gaily possible”. Once you find your lifetime dog partner, your world will become a different place. Your dog has the perfect beard, soft and cuddly, his nose is always wet and with four legs he has twice as good as a man. He won’t ask questions and he is lays there—usually quiet. In other words, a dog is the perfect partner. Your addictions will become secondary and you will be regarded as a caring person. And….you never know who you will meet when you walk the dog.

Here is a Bible, as Joan Rivers says, for dog owners. It is also a book for anyone who wants to laugh and learn at the same time.

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