“The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three”–the perfect threesome

Vantoch, Vicki. “The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide for Sleeping with Three”, Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2007.

The Perfect Threesome

Amos Lassen

There seem to be guidebooks for everything these days. I am not sure we need them all and have always felt that a lot can be learned simply through experience. Vicki Vantoch, however, has chosen to tell us how to have the best threesomes ever and she does give some very good hints.

I read on the cover of the book that threesomes, according to a recent poll conducted by ABC TV, are America’s number one fantasy. Vantoch maintains that with a fantasy like that, we need to know how to successfully partake in and enjoy a threesome. Her writing is frank and she uses humor and background knowledge as she helps us get over whatever hang-ups we may have about participating in a ménage-a-trois. Much of what she has to say is based on her own personal experience, research she has done, advice she has received and from the many interviews she as conducted.

There are several issues that should be considered when dealing with threesomes and the foremost of these seems to be jealousy. Vantoch provides strategies for dealing with jealousy as well as how to bring in a third party without it affecting the nature of the primary relationship. She also looks at creating a long term three-way relationship and how to tell when it has run its course. Negotiating boundaries is another important topic dealt with as well as how to send signals out so that each of the three involved will find pleasure.

I am not sure that this is a book that is really needed but I did have a good time reading it, especially the wonderful quotes and hints provided on almost every page. There is a wonderful chapter especially for us gay people, “Discovering the Inner Queer”. The author has also provided two appendices dealing with resources available. Vantoch has done extensive research here and the book that she has written gives us all we need to know in order to be involved in “sexy and emotionally rewarding threesomes based on trust, honesty and awareness”. She has managed to touch on every aspect of the subject both seriously and with wit and humor. What we have is even better than those maps that AAA provides us with when we go on a road trip. Here we get the best information needed to get to the best locations possible.

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