“DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL–a zany spoof

“DON’T ASK DON’T TELL”

A Zany Spoof

Amos Lassen

Subtitled “They Came from Outer Space and They’re Fabulous”, “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” (Click IV Entertainment) is one crazy movie. If any of you saw Woody Allen’s “What’s Up Tiger Lily” and liked it, then you will love this movie, Director/writer Doug Miles took the science fiction movie “Killers from Space” which starred Peter Graves and redubbed the soundtrack. Using low grade dubbing, really cheesy special effects and a horrible dance number, this is a non stop laugh fest. It is also the most idiotic and socially relevant film ever made.

The plot of the film has the Army planning to rid America of 30,000 homosexuals by bombing them while they are at a Barbra Streisand concert in Sodom, Texas (which is not far from Inbred, Texas). The reason the Army wants to do this is to make the world safe for morality.

Luckily for the gays, the plan gets messed up and the bomb lands in Inbred. At almost the same time the plane Enola Gay Basher crashes but only after gay aliens abduct and perform an operation on Dr. Doug Fartin which makes him use the word “fabulous in every sentence and go mad for musicals by Rogers and Hammerstein.

Back at Fellatio Alger Air Force Base, Army brass is deliberating over the meaning of all of this. Little do they know that the aliens and planning to convert the entire population of the earth to be homosexual by using a special ray.

The original movie, “Killers from Space” was really bad photographically and the actors were hammy so that movie lends itself to this adaptation beautifully. From what I can tell though, that movie wasn’t gratuitous enough so the director splices scenes from other B movies and there are several scenes that are just really far out. And this entire mish mash is really funny but very sophomoric.

This crazy humor and “sassy schlock” is not for everyone—it is the kind of satire that is either loved or hated. It is toilet humor at its best and there are several lame jokes about Viagra, farting, right wingers, gays and sex change operations. In other words it is a low grade spoof on the George W. years. There is even a line about “W” referring to President Cheney.

Another attempt to get laughs is with the names of some of the characters: Nurse Bendover, Colonel Butz and Doug Fartin. The plot, as thin as it is, deals with the secret mission, “Operation Manhole”.

The aliens have come from the planet Uranus (could it have been anywhere else?) and their plan to drop a radioactive queer beam so that the world will become gay is the main thrust of the film.

This is not a movie that you are likely to remember (if you even can find a copy) but it is a lot of fun to watch if you do not take it seriously in anyway. It is a satire and should be appreciated as no more than that.

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